We’re told forever to fight for the stage. To compete for attention, to embrace being seen as the goal of our lives. We’re pressured to be bigger, to be better, to go change the world, to make ourselves enough.
Maybe these are literal stages. Maybe they’re the stages of other people’s attention. Either way: they’re never enough.
In seeking the stage, in trying to keep up with spotlights and soundchecks, I have found that this constantly evasive stage is never enough. And it’s because I was never created for a stage, I was never created to fight for a platform.
I’m created for the altar. In feeling the pressure of searching for a purpose, I have discovered that I was created for a Presence that fills my whole being and illuminates my soul. And it’s enough.
The power of the Most High overshadows us. How many times have we felt suppressed by a shadow…so often have we fight against anything overshadowing us, clinging to the spotlight. Determined to be seen. Determined to be seen as enough.
So often have we just fought. And found our identities in fighting, in forcing, and found ourselves flailing, failing.
Altar. He went to the altar.
There was no stage that He sought to declare His love. There was no stage he that sought that He might be seen. There was an altar that He got up on, and His declaration lasts beyond a two hour show. There was an altar in the shape of a cross, where He gave it all. He made the decision with nails and thorns to never run away. He proclaimed a love that outshines any spotlight, that is louder than any speaker system.
Sometimes, it can feel like we’re on this mission to prove how much we love God to the world. To be seen and to be known as “Christian” and build up our spiritual resumes. To outdo each other in service trips and parenting and life-ing and everything else, for the sake of showing that we’ve grown, that we’re not who we were. That we’re enough.
He went to the altar to show that He was enough so that we could go and be not enough.
We’re not enough.
I went into college ready to change the world. After serving as a missionary at a camp, I had big plans to prove myself and make my ministry-centric family proud. To be the perfect Jesus girl who changed the world, who made everyone fall in love with Jesus.
But it’s not on me. None of it is on me.
In nailing Himself to the cross, He freed me from the fight for perfection. He freed me from having to strive, and showed me exactly who I am. I don’t need a stage to be known. I don’t need a spotlight to be seen.
So, I go to the altar and I let it all out. Leaving all of the stages that I have stood on, and the pressure has come from my idols to constantly be more, to constantly be enough.
And as it all bleeds out of me, there’s pain. But even more so, there’s freedom. And in the emptiness, there’s space for the Resurrection. He’s more. He’s enough.
We weren’t created for the stage or the spotlight of this world, because His eyes are on us. His heart is captivated by our every movement. We weren’t created for pressure. We’re not consultants for the salvation business, needing to fill our quotas or we’ll get demoted.
The pressure is off. The pressure to parent perfectly, the pressure to get all A’s, the pressure to know what comes next, the pressure to change the world. The pressure to make sense of things, the pressure to fix relationships.
His Presence is here. Close your eyes for a second and just know. His Presence is enough.
It doesn’t matter how many blog posts are written or talks are given. It doesn’t matter how many times you go to Africa, or how many Jesus conversations that you have in a day. In itself, these things are so empty and so exhausting.
It’s time to get on that altar. It’s time to stop chasing stages and spotlights and let the pressure go, because it was never from Him in the first place.
The power of the Most High is overshadowing us, removing the pressure. Removing the need for a stage or a spotlight, because He sees us. And His presence is enough.
Let’s be a people of His presence– let’s let it all go. Let’s rest. Let’s receive His heart and enter into all that He won for us. It’s enough.